


Reader Response

by redscudery



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Anal Sex, Double Anal Penetration, I'd like to formally apologize to the armed forces, Implied Bestiality, John is a tease, Limericks, M/M, Military Kink, Oral Sex, Porny Limericks, Rimming, Sherlock is a Brat, it's really not my kink, why do so many of my fics have that tag?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-10
Updated: 2014-11-10
Packaged: 2018-02-24 00:34:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2561513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redscudery/pseuds/redscudery
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In Chapter 55 of “Minutiae (Or 156 Things I Know About You)”, the justly celebrated Atlinmerrick stated that John writes porny limericks on bathroom walls, thusly: </p><p>"John Watson has perfect eyesight. This has contributed to his marksman's aim, careful physician's gaze, and to his ability to write in tiny text a pornographic limerick in the gent's by Lestrade's office. John did this to see if Sherlock—who always reads the scrawl on the walls in public loos—would finally admit that he needs glasses. John waited three days, writing more limericks in progressively smaller text, but Sherlock did not make any squint-eyed admissions. Thank god a few days later a suspect threw her briefcase, heels, and spectacles at Sherlock as she ran off, or John probably would have himself soon needed glasses to write those wee lewd limericks. Be that as it may, the suspect's rescued glasses perfectly suited both Sherlock's looks (heavy dark frames) and his far-sightedness. And the now-readable limericks apparently suited his libido, as John found out later."</p><p>As far as I’m concerned, that’s a blatant invitation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reader Response

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AtlinMerrick](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AtlinMerrick/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Minutiae (Or 156 Things I Know About You)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/441850) by [AtlinMerrick](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AtlinMerrick/pseuds/AtlinMerrick). 



**Limerick One,** Tuesday, April 2. Written in pencil after another argument about how squinting is not good for one. (One = Sherlock).

 

There was a hot soldier from Kent

Who was frequently wanting a gent

And when spread open wide

With two cocks deep inside,

He saluted, then came as he went!

 

 _Text underneath, in black indelible marker:_ _I do not think that is physically possible, John._

 **Limerick Two** , Friday, April 5. Written in pencil.

 

A famed flaccid sergeant-at-arms

Tried rogering fat sheep on farms

In Treadwell and Stoke,

But though he did poke

He could not find relief in their charms.

 

_Text underneath, in the same marker: Erectile dysfunction precludes penetration. Nonsensical._

 

 **Limerick 3**. Later that same day, and in red ink this time. The text is much smaller.

 

“A cock in me mouth ain’t so bad,”

Said a Mary Ann, smiling and glad,

“I licks and I sucks

Like all the girl chucks,

And it spares me from having been had.”

 

_Text underneath, in the same marker: There’s an interesting monograph on Victorian pornographic slang that I would recommend to you, John, if I weren’t sure that you had simply learned this by rote as some sort of bizarre army bonding exercise._

**Limerick 4.** Even later that same day, also in red ink. Preceded by the words “I’ll show you bizarre army bonding exercises if you like.”

 

Young Smithwick, when told to bend over

By Staff Sergeant Nigel Windhover

Dropped trousers and stood

And took in Staff’s wood

And so for his tour was in clover.

 

_Text underneath, in the same red ink but in much larger script: Unfair tactics._

**Limerick 5**. Early morning, Saturday, April 6. Fine black indelible marker, even smaller text than before.

For Corporal Stamford’s salute,

Shuck trousers, spread legs, and be cute.

For he disregards quim;

His kink is to rim

And he causes his soldiers to shoot!

 

_Text underneath, in red ink: This decreasing text is childish, John. And “nm” is no sex act I’m familiar with. Also, I never want to think of Stamford in a sexual sense ever again._

_Text further underneath, larger, in black: It's "rim". Also, “yet”(and poor Stamford)._

**Limerick 5.** Coffee time, Saturday, April 6. Same marker, same small text.

 

When your large uncut cock you do scour

In the steam of the new barracks shower

Beware of Jack Flick

He’ll bend and he’ll lick

Then your tight virgin arse he’ll deflower.

 

_Text underneath, in black ink: American slang, John? Also, are you?_

_Text further underneath: Am I what?_

_Text underneath, in the same handwriting as the limerick but infinitely smaller: yes_

(there is a dent in the metal here, as though someone has thrown something at the wall with frustrated ferocity)

 

 **Limerick 6** _,_ late afternoon the same day. Black marker, text miniscule.

Oh, a foreskin’s a curious thing

So close to the cock does it cling.

But it slips and it slides

And the jewel that it hides

Is slick and goes in with a swing!

_Text underneath, large and written by someone likely enraged: I do not need glasses to know that this is obscene and probably related to the military_

_Text further underneath, slightly larger: The day you can recite it to me this can happen to you_

(another metal dent)

 

 **Limerick 7** , Sunday, April 7. Text as small as prior limerick.

 

Today, I have spectacles, see,

Doctor Watson, oh, do hear my plea,

Your lim’ricks I’ve read

And they’ve gone to my head

So you must do all those things to me.

_Text underneath, equally small, in black ink: I did not write this tripe. You profane my name._

_Text further underneath, in pencil: But it’s true, yeah?_

_Text even further underneath, in blue indelible marker: Get a room you two. -GL_


End file.
